Can you wrestle, Daddy?
Similar to just about every other aspect of their lives, I need to differentiate (alert educator’s term) when being pummeled by my daughters on our king size bed. My oldest can actually push me over if she gets a running start and I am not braced on all fours. I have to remember to never cover my youngest’s face or flip her with my hand behind her back. My second born, with the greatest potential of becoming the first professional wrestler from either side of the family, will pull, grab, kick and, until a rule was recently set, bite.
Wrestling is an activity reserved for the girls and I; it is not that Mommy isn’t considered to be a good wrestler, she just has chosen not to engage. We both try to model aspects of life regardless of gender, and the girls see both of us as physical creatures. However, Mommy doesn’t like to partake in the battle royal each weekend because, ‘You guys are too sweaty and smelly’. And while I could use the help from time to time, the time spent using pillows as boulders and chasing each other around the house is a chance for me to build trust. The researchers believe that the most important aspect of this play is that it gives children a sense of achievement when they ‘defeat’ a more powerful adult, building their self-confidence and concentration.
A rule unique to lucha libre applies during tag team matches, which is when the wrestler of a team touches the floor outside the ring, a teammate may enter the ring to take his place as the next wrestler. As the legal wrestler can step to the floor willingly, there is essentially no need for an actual tag to a teammate to bring him into a match. This often allows for much more frenetic action to take place in the ring than would otherwise not be possible under what we would consider an actual tag. We seem to follow the same rules. During our matches, I often don’t know who is coming and who is going, and at any point, an arm or elbow can meet a head too quickly. I sometimes make a mistake about how hard I toss them or where I can and can’t grab them (we have a set of rules about certain places). But I make sure they know they are strong, that weight, leverage and speed are important to learn…and , of course, that the tickle blob or terrible taco have escape routes.
I am consistently affectionate and physical with my daughters. I take great comfort from hugs and snuggles, of course, but thoroughly enjoy the physical play with them. I am sure not every father relates to his or other children this way; however, I gather my experience is neither universal nor unique. But no matter what our style of fathering, our kids, especially our daughters, need the physical acknowledgement of our love for them as much as the verbal ones. That’s sometimes not simple or easy to do.
Building Cairns 